I dedicate my humitas to the things that bring you joy. With my brand I have always used the tag #enjoyliving but truth be told there was really no joy in my life and there hadn't been any for years.
Like a lot of people I was just doing fine, at some point fine dipped into a deep depression where I saw no light in the tunnel let alone at the end.
Along came my son and for just a fleeting moment I felt euphoria. That didn't last for long and I was back to fleeting between fine and a deep depression. Fast forward a couple of months later things only got worse.
The support I thought I had suddenly upped and left. Nothing will drop you into a deep depressive state quicker than a baby screaming day and night. You can't negotiate with them. You can't explain to them that you were up all night feeding them so you need to lie in.
Somehow I managed to feel my way through the dark. Friends tried to help but what you really want is for it to all just to go away but it won't. But you can't tell anybody what you are truly feeling because you think people might actually take your baby away.
So you over compensate you go on the outside. I made sure my baby was always well looked after I made sure he was always smiling even when I didn't have the energy to smile. I found myself wearing the same outfit over and over again, to the point that when I was with my son I simply looked like "the help" people would fawn and coo over him and totally ignore me.
But despite all of that I continued to fight for my joy because I not only owed it to my son be be full of joy but I also owed it to myself. So I started to "do the work" as #iyanla would say. I began to read books, I began to meditate & pray. I began to be truthful with myself and I continue to do so.
Slowly things have began to change. Life seems brighter and for the first time in a long time I was stopped on the street and told I had a wonderful outfit on.
When I came home and made my version of a humitas, that was green, so far away from what an authentic one looks like. A few minutes I heard my son utter the words Mama, I felt a joy surge through me.
I tasted my humitas and loved it.
Hoy me pongo a pensar en la innumerable cantidad de cosas y bendiciones que Dios me ha dado, en las bonitas personas que me ha puesto en el camino y de las que me ha rodeado, en las veces que me ha fortalecido y regalado una razón más para seguir luchando por lo que quiero, y recuerdo entonces a los que están y estarán siempre la Familia, los que te recuerdan las cosas lindas y te enseñan a encontrarle sentido a lo más sencillo. Me siento feliz y afortunada por la oportunidad de seguir compartiendo, creciendo y aprendiendo no sólo a ser mejor persona sino también mejor mujer. #happybirthday#me#veinticuatro#instagram#nofilter#red#agosto#saturday#instasize#photo#picoftheday#smile#longhair#happiness#instagood#enjoying